ZOMBIECAN version 2.0 or a slightly revised "don't eat your SPAM Day 1 of The Apocalypse"

@TheSouthCath

PROLOGUE:

I know it's been a few months since I wrote this post, but since season 2 of The Walking Dead is winding down I figured I'd revisit this post for a minute.  I've updated it slightly as well, perhaps it's a little better than the original posting.

NOW BACK TO THE POST:

It's that time of year again! Time to check your bug out bags and make sure you've got enough ammunition, plastic spoons and copies The Bible to pass to future generations of the repopulated earth. That's right! It's Apocalypse season yet again! That glorious time when ketchup packets an wet naps become currency and abandoned pet stores become buffets.

However, I've noticed too many of my left behind brothers and sisters are too eager to embrace the full spectrum of what is this grand ol' apocalypse. The flash of the doomsday bomb hasn't left the night sky before you type-A momma's boys wanna start a colony and eat the family pets.

To this I say "just wait a dang minute!".  Haven't the emotional issues that accompany losing just about every person you've ever known slowed fatty's appetite at all? I mean there you are standing in the still smoldering rubble of your hometown, playing kick the skull with your neighbor's forehead & you're wondering what kind of wine goes with half melted parakeet.

To your defense it can all get overwhelming, being one of the last humans on earth and all. But what's wrong with living it up a little before chaos and mayhem set in? Remember that new camaro your douche bag neighbor went out and bought after he saw Transformers?? If it's not a pile of melted metal and rubber, it's yours now, take it for a spin, hell, mount a gun from one of the many abandoned National Gaurd vehicles to the roof! Are you an outdoorsman? Now's your chance for greatness! Grab that rifle, shotgun & fishing pole, because guess what: NO LIMIT and NO CLOSED SEASON!  And who wouldn't enjoy laying waste to dozens of zombie hoards?  Hell, one of them could be your boss, mother-in-law or even a democrat!

Ok, now you've had all the mind occupying fun you can with all the free stuff you've found. What now? You've gotta start thinking about food again right? Wrong! You've yet to do the apocalyptic standard and pile up articles of clothing arranged by type on the floor so you can begin your march to the coast, for some damn reason.  Already done this as well?? Let's check our weapons situation then. Those abandoned military trucks we mentioned earlier should be enough to find off the cannibalistic nomads that are lurking just outside the city. Fill the trunk of that camaro up with artillery and get ready to move east! Or west! Or wherever they say the unaffected land is.

Having fun yet? I bet you've even wrapped your new stolen army boots in duck tape because it looks cool.

Now would be when you get the food together, but again, don't get desperate day 3 of the apocalypse either. Ease in to it. The SPAM will be there longer after the day old donuts and deli meats at the abandoned Public.

@TheSouthCath